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August 22, 2014 • 11:42 am

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Jester's CourtroomLegal tales stranger than stranger than fiction: Ridiculous and sometimes funny lawsuits plaguing our courts.
Eric Holder Calls Out a Nation of Racists Print
By Quin Hillyer
Tuesday, December 20 2011

For Eric Holder, U.S. Attorney General, to play the race card is about as surprising as for Charlie Sheen to go on a bender. Weak people have ugly habits.
 
Holder is rightly under fire, and subject to the call by dozens of congressman for his resignation, because of the blatant incompetence and dishonesty of his Justice Department in the gun-running case known as Fast and Furious. The congressmen don’t seem to believe that Holder knew nothing about the gun deal that let Mexican drug gangs kill American border agents and, apparently, a large number of other unfortunate victims. So far, Holder has been scrambling to make people believe that he didn’t read memos sent to him about the operation, or pay attention to briefings on the subject. Hey, do you read all your mail?

When critics said that it was equally as bad for him to be so incompetent or inattentive as to not know about the idiotic operation as it was for him to have approved it, that’s when Holder reached for his verbal narcotic of choice. He explained that the whole controversy is just a smoke screen: “This is a way to get at the president because of the way I can be identified with him,” he said, “both due to the nature of our relationship and, you know, the fact that we’re both African-American.” 

Next thing you know, this whole “nation of cowards” that Holder has identified, just chomping at the bit to exercise its latent discriminatory impulses, will start insisting that Holder drink at a water cooler labeled “Colored Only.”

Okay, I guess Holder has white America pegged. But our racist schemes are even more nefarious than he ever imagined. You see, we’re the ones who found a way to trick him into a whole series of blunders, dishonesties and worse, all so we could make the president and attorney general look bad just because their skin is a darker shade than pale. Obviously, we just don’t believe Joe Biden when he says it’s possible for a black man to be clean and articulate. Surely this – the sneaky racist plot – explains why Holder hired so many lawless, unqualified, left-wing lawyers.

Now it all makes sense. All that bit about Americans being a nation of cowards about race. All that effort to cover the tracks of the New Black Panther Democratic Party poll watchers. All that effort to make New York City hire fire-academy applicants who missed 70 percent of the easy test questions. All those decisions not even to enforce civil rights laws to protect white victims from black perpetrators or to enforce laws against vote fraud because they don’t help turn out Democratic votes.

The hostility to military voting but the eagerness to help felons vote. The lawsuit against states for passing laws against illegal immigrants. The radical Supreme Court nominees and other crazy judicial choices Holder’s team helped choose.

Stonewalling on Freedom of Information requests. Ignoring lawful subpoenas from a quasi-independent agency. Refusing to name the huge number of its lawyers who did volunteer work for terrorist detainees. Forcing honest whistleblowers out of the department. Reopening criminal investigations into CIA officers already cleared of charges of lawlessly torturing terrorist suspects. Trying to insist on holding civilian trials for foreign terrorist thugs. Stopping black-majority towns from holding non-partisan elections because Democrats might not get elected that way.

The list of bizarre outrages goes on and on. And it started, in Holder’s case, long before he became attorney general. The racists were the ones who tricked him into arranging for Bill Clinton to pardon fugitive millionaires and Puerto Rican terrorists. We also pulled Holder’s puppet strings when he gave the order to send in a commando team waving around massive weapons to terrorize a young boy and send him back to Communist enslavement.

Nobody could legitimately complain about any of that, of course. Not in Holder’s world. But we forced him to do all those things specifically so the ensuing controversies would act as a dog whistle for all the closet racists who inhabit American flyover country. We’re just diabolical that way.

Maybe we should cry “uncle” and admit it: Criticizing a black American for being a dishonest, lawless hack would be racist. Even if he really is a dishonest, lawless hack.

Question of the Week   
On which one of the following dates during the War of 1812 did British troops march into our nation’s capital and set fire to the city?
More Questions
Quote of the Day   
 
"These are the worst people on earth. They openly, proudly crucify enemies, enslave women and murder men en masse. These are not the usual bad guys out for land, plunder or power. These are primitive cultists who celebrate slaughter, glory in bloodlust and slit the throats of innocents as a kind of sacrament.  We have now seen what air cover for Kurdish/Iraqi boots on the ground can achieve. But…[more]
 
 
—Charles Krauthammer, Syndicated Columnist
— Charles Krauthammer, Syndicated Columnist
 
Liberty Poll   

Will the indictment of Texas Governor Rick Perry hurt or help him politically?