Home > posts > This Just In: Cows Don’t Cause Global Warming
April 8th, 2010 2:02 pm
This Just In: Cows Don’t Cause Global Warming
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Well, actually it’s been in for a few hours, but we were busy feeding the goats, who like to eat while listening to the exhaust of the V-12 just sitting there idling.

We’ve been told for years that we shouldn’t eat red meat, which is really tasty and harder to kick than Oxy, because red meat on the hoof emits methane gas, which is supposedly bad for the environment.  Of course, since dead red meat don’t emit nothing but eating pleasure (and shoes not made in a chemical factory), we’ve not been able to understand why we shouldn’t just eat as much as we can, keeping the herds properly thinned and methane-managed.

At any rate, according to the Telegraph, this researcher named Klaus Butterbach-Bahl of the Karlsruhe Institute of Technology in Germany went over to Inner Mongolia and watched Inner Mongolian cows eat some Inner Mongolian grass.  Dr. Butterbach-Bahl then allowed as to how there were more nitrous oxide emissions (judged to be the third most noxious greenhouse gas after carbon dioxide and methane) when the cows weren’t eating.  All about microbes in the soil, don’t you know.  So it’s okay to have cows eating grass, at least in Inner Mongolia, which is surely better than them eating the Inner Mongolians.

Not to be politically incorrect while scientifically accurate, Dr. Butterbach-Bahl said that his “study does not overturn the case for cutting down on red meat.”

We now return you to your regular programming, although unless you are watching an NCIS marathon, it’s just full of bad stuff that Dr. Butterbach-Bahl hasn’t studied yet.

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