Freedom Line Blog

In a move sure to raise questions regarding the torture of U.S. Senators by a secretive government cabal, the Senate Ethics Committee has written Senator Roland Burris (D-Ill) a letter. 

The admonishment letter, long argued by advocates of more humane punishment to be the senatorial equivalent of water-boarding, is said to be a “sternly worded rebuke,” from which Burris is unlikely to recover before dinner.

The letter, which took months of closed-door scheming to prepare, cites Burris for “providing incorrect, inconsistent, misleading or incomplete information to the public, the Senate and those conducting legitimate inquiries into your appointment to the Senate [by former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich].”

Recognizing the severity of such a letter and attempting to reduce public criticism over the harshness of its language, heretofore reserved for such acts as appearing on the Senate floor with one’s pockets stuffed with $100 bills,  the Senate Ethics Committee recommends no further punishment.

Since Burris has announced that he will not seek re-election, he will be allowed to vote on serious matters affecting the American people and be afforded all Senatorial privileges only through the remainder of his appointed term, which runs until 2010.