Author Archive
September 24th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Another Obama Man Done Gone, Mainstream Media Sings “Hail to the Chief”
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Ben Smith of, reporting on the resignation of Yosi Sargent (former NEA Communications Director who organized and participated in call enlisting artists to support Obama programs):  “The White House has sought to downplay the story, which has gotten little mainstream media attention, despite heavy coverage on the right.”

Perhaps that would explain the latest poll findings on  national attitudes toward the media, conducted by Sacred Heart University:  “A large majority, 89.3 percent, suggested the national media played a very or somewhat strong role in helping to elect President Obama.  Just 10.0 percent suggested the national media played little or no role.  Further, 69.9 percent agreed the national news media are intent on promoting the Obama presidency while 26.5 percent disagreed.  Some, 3.6 percent, were unsure.”

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September 24th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
ACORN Investigations Piling Up Like Cordwood
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The U.S. Department of Transportation today announced an investigation of ACORN because the  teenage prostitutes about which ACORN advised would have been transported in vehicles, possibly clunkers.  No, that’s a joke.  But the Inspector General of the Treasury Department really did authorize an investigation, and more are being sought at both federal and state levels.

Who knew that ACORN could provide such a stimulus package for lawyers?

September 24th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Wacky World Leaders for $20, Alex
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Breaking News from the Miami Herald:  “It’s been 89 days since Manuel Zelaya was booted from power.  He’s sleeping on chairs, and he claims his throat is sore from toxic gases and ‘Israeli mercenaries’ are torturing him with high-frequency radiation.”

This, dear readers, is the guy that President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton demand be returned to power as President of Honduras.

September 23rd, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Memo To Insane Asylum Directors
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It has come to our attention that Barack Obama, the duly-elected 44th President of the United States, today went before the United Nations and appealed for a New World Order.

Based solely upon that empirical evidence, it is your immediate duty to release from your institutions all who have been committed there based on conditions that were previously and erroneously diagnosed as “paranoid delusions regarding black helicopters and the world takeover by the United Nations.”

As should be eminently clear from the above-cited evidence, those unfortunates aren’t loonies at all, just visionaries decades ahead of their time.

Once that considerable space in your institutions has been emptied, you would be well advised to begin preparing more luxurious, though no less secure, accommodations for the 44th President of the United States, whose delusions thus far exposed are yet to be thoroughly diagnosed and categorized, but are being addressed around the clock by the absolute best psychiatrists at the CIA, many of whom have volunteered to work on their own time at their own expense in the interest of national security.

September 23rd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Taxing Insulin Pumps, but Not Condoms
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Apparently, Max Baucus, Chairman of the Senate Finance Committee and the New Wizard* of ObamaCare has decided that it is bad form to tax condoms, but really good form to tax insulin pumps and hearing aids and power wheelchairs.

Worried about perceptions that ObamaCare will tax the middle class (it still will, and we will be telling you we told you so for decades), Baucus seemingly decided to exempt consumer items of $100 or less from his previously proposed tax on medical devices.

There are no middle-class people who are deaf, diabetic and lame?  What did they do to get screwed?

Do these people really think we are that stupid?  Do they think that by applying the tax to the medical device companies, you won’t know it’s going to be passed to you?  There’s no one that stupid.  Plenty of people docile enough to let it happen, but not so stupid as to not understand this.

*Note that we are using Wizard as a coded expletive rather than Imperial Wizard, which is a better coded expletive, in this context, but would be mischaracterized and get us charged with saying bad stuff and inciting violence.

September 23rd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Headline of the…Oh You Decide
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“AP:  Ahmadinejad urges Obama to see Iran as friend”

Learned commentary thereon:  Hey, you anti-semitic psychopath, the problem for your people and for ours is that he already does.

In related news, thanks to Canwest News Service, “Canada will boycott Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s speech at the United Nations on Wednesday, saying his outbursts about the Holocaust and Israel are ‘shameful.'”

Learned commentary thereon:  Canada, and only Canada?

September 23rd, 2009 at 10:20 am
Time to Speak Up on Obama Trade War
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Hello.  Good morning.  We need to use this opportunity for an urgent message to American business, large and small (and even tiny), to American agricultural interests, large and small, regardless of crop, if you are or are trying to sell overseas or buy overseas.

Your president is in the process of starting a trade war with the Chinese over imported tires.  He is doing this on behalf of a union, no big news on that.  It is, as most protectionist acts in the global village, silly and ill-advised.  In this case, the potential upside is infinitesimal and the downside, in an unusually fragile economy, similar unto the scariest Halloween movie in which victims are picked randomly and abruptly for slaughter.

You may not be paying attention now, but you better.  Trade wars cannot be contained.  Trade wars cannot be limited to the original countries involved.  Trade wars cannot be limited to specific products or commodities. You wanna talk political triangulation?  Trade wars involve hyperdextrangulation squared. 

The problem with trade wars you ignore is that one day you wake up to learn you have become collateral damage, through no fault of your own, never did one thing wrong in or to any country involved.  Doesn’t matter.  That’s what collateral damage is.  You don’t want to become collateral damage.  You don’t want to explain to your employees and farm workers and families and children that you are collateral damage.

You have three choices.  The first is to call the president and tell him to stop this nonsense before it gets out of hand.  The second is to write the president and tell him to stop this nonsense before it gets out of hand.  The third is to do nothing and play foreign trade roulette.  You do not want to take the third option.

Trust us.  We know.  We once, shall we say, had some proximity to advising on targets for collateral damage in other countries.

September 23rd, 2009 at 10:09 am
Investigating ACORN (Yeah, Right!)
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Americans concerned about alleged extensive corruption within ACORN can rest easier tonight.

ACORN has launched its very own, no-holds-barred investigation of itself.

Overseeing the investigation will be former HUD Secretary Henry Cisneros as an ACORN advisory council member.  Cisneros was forced to resign as HUD Secretary in 1997 as a result of an 18-count indictment for conspiracy, giving false statements and obstruction of justice, regarding payments to a former mistress.  In 1999, he was allowed to plead guilty to a misdemeanor count of lying to the FBI, getting off with a $10,000 fine and no jail time.  President Clinton pardoned him in 2001, cleaning up that fine mess.

Conducting the investigation will be Scott Harshbarger, former Attorney General of Massachusetts.  Harshbarger certainly knows evidence – and how to trump it up.  In the 1980s, as a district attorney in Massachusetts, he prosecuted a case almost universally regarded as one of the most shameless miscarriages of justice in the country.  Using the coached, nay, manipulated and transparently irrational testimony of children, and exploiting public emotions over sexual predators, Harshbarger prosecuted and convicted Gerald Amirault of the Fells Acres Day Care Center in Malden, Massachusetts.  Harshbarger has to this day never acknowledged the overzealous prosecution, nor has he had to.

With sturdy citizens like Cisneros and Harshbarger at the helm of ACORN’s internal investigation, there is just no need for those state and federal investigations, like with subpoenas and sworn testimony and all that stuff.  Is there?

Oh and by the way, as columnist Deroy Murdoch points out, when “ACORN CEO Bertha Lewis told Fox News Sunday her group ‘absolutely pays its taxes,'” she must have forgotten the state and federal tax liens filed against ACORN’s New Orleans headquarters.  When you’re busy collecting millions from state and federal governments, it’s just ever so easy not to remember a measly $1 million in back taxes.  Surely Cisneros and Harshbarger will want to clear that little misunderstanding up as soon as possible.  Won’t they?

September 23rd, 2009 at 8:19 am
The Day Freedom Died
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From the Associated Press, paraphrased:  On Tuesday, the Los Angeles City Council passed an ordinance that limits possession of a rooster to one per household.  

Rise up, Angelenos!  Next they will come for your goats, then your pet pythons, then your Golden Retrievers.

September 20th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
ACORN’s Federal Money. What Federal Money?
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I didn’t even know that ACORN was getting a whole lot of federal money.”   — President Barack Obama, September 20, 2009

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September 20th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Targeting the Enemies of ObamaCare
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According to The Washington Times, a series of “grass-roots demonstrations” set to take place Tuesday to promote ObamaCare are being planned as “tightly scripted events [featuring] an ‘escalation’ of efforts against ‘enemies’ of reform.

“…Health Care for America Now (HCAN), which is backed by a coalition of labor unions and liberal groups including ACORN and, organized the protests to target insurance companies and drafted the plan, which describes the demonstrations as part of its ‘insurance enemies project.’

“The document, a copy of which was obtained by The Washington Times, details specific talking points, tactics, props and strategies to stage the protests.  It lists goals that include action that ‘mobilizes or base by animating existing anger about private insurers.'”

Surely, President Obama and Speaker Pelosi will speak out against “animating existing anger.”  Doesn’t “animating anger” lead to violence?  Since when is “animating anger” a legitimate policy goal?

We’re still trying to figure out how health insurance plans could be so greedy and evil when they pay medical providers 20% more than Medicare pays the same medical providers for the same services and manage to make only a 3% profit margin.  No one seems to want to answer that question.

September 20th, 2009 at 10:22 am
ObamaCare: It Doesn’t Matter What It Is; We Just Need It
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First paragraph of Associated Press Saturday story:  “Keep going.  You don’t have to fix it all now.  Just please don’t let it stall.  That’s the essence of the message that Senate Democratic leaders have for their Finance Committee senators, who plan to start voting Tuesday on a remake of the nation’s health care system.”

Translation:  If this fails, Pelosi won’t have anything to work over in conference to get her public option, so if you only fix it for the union guys to keep getting their Viagra, well that’s ObamaCare, and she’ll dump the heavy stuff in from her side, when opponents are just too tired to keep fighting this.

Also as of Saturday, more than 500 amendments to the Baucus version of the bill had been filed in the Finance Committee.  Bets on how many of those will get read?

September 18th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
“Calling Out” Tim Pawlenty. That’s P-a-w-l-e-n-t-y.
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Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, who has chosen not to run for a third term, may or may not decide to run for President.  While articulate and attractive, Pawlenty needs what all politicians need who have not long lived on the national political stage – name identification and recognition in his own party.

So what do those geniuses at the Democratic National Committee do?   Well, they’ve got this new “Call ’em Out” program, the purpose of which seems to be to attack people who have criticized ObamaCare.  Their first target?  Tim Pawlenty.

Hey, Maude, the Dems are attacking someone named Tim Pawlenty.

Yeah, Harvey, Tim Pawlenty opposes ObamaCare.

Well, don’t we oppose ObamaCare, Maude?

Of course we do, Harvey.  Most Americans do.

Well, that Pawlenty fellow seems okay by me.  Maybe we could have him over here for one of those coffees, introduce him to the neighbors, give him some money or something.  Good to know he’s one of us.

September 17th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
ACORN, Say Goodbye to Federal Funding
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Andrew Breitbart’s BIGGOVERNMENT.COM, which first aired the undercover ACORN videos, just reported that the U.S. House of Representatives has voted to discontinue all federal funding to ACORN.  The vote was 345 to 75.

Now, where are the Governors?  So far, only Pawlenty and Schwarzenegger have done the right thing.

Kudos to James O’Keefe and Hannah Giles, who made the videos (with still more to come, apparently) and to Breitbart for demonstrating that we don’t need no stinking mainstream media no more.

September 17th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
The Guru Speaketh, in Tongues, With Great Meaning
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We went up the mountain, actually a small hill, to see the Political Guru.   He said:  “Politicians who can’t – or won’t – see the forests for the racists had better move to the desert.”   We came down the mountain, more enlightened than most politicians.

September 17th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Iran Can Make Nuke? Oops!!!
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Remember when you were told that Iran was two, five, ten years away from being able to make nukes?

Well, here’s the lead from an Associated Press story filed only an hour or so ago: 

Experts at the world’s top atomic watchdog are in agreement that Tehran has the ability to make a nuclear bomb and is on the way to developing a missile system able to carry an atomic warhead, according to a secret report seen by The Associated Press.”

Remember when President Obama canceled our Eastern European-based Missile Defense Shield Program?  That would have been earlier this morning.

September 17th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
The Speaker Speaks
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I have concerns about some of the language that is being used because I saw…I saw this myself in the late ’70s in San Francisco.  This kind of rhetoric is just, is really frightening and it created a climate in which we, violence took place and…I wish that we would all, again, curb our enthusiasm in some of the statements that are made.” — U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, September 17, 2009 (Real Clear Politics Video)

Hey lady, has it occurred to you to curb your enthusiasm for legislation that many Americans believe curtails their freedom, is spending them and their children into bankruptcy and diminishes the national security of the country?  Oh, and by the way, should we review some of your language of the past months?  No, we think most people remember.

September 16th, 2009 at 11:24 am
The Tax That Isn’t
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The Tax that Isn’t a Tax Because President Obama Isn’t a Liar, and Even if He Were, He Wouldn’t Lie About Something Like Taxes on the Middle Class, Except to Stop Global Warming, Which May or May Not Be Real, Depending On Who Is Lying About that

Declan McCullagh reports at

The Obama administration has privately concluded that a cap and trade law would cost American taxpayers up to $200 billion a year, the equivalent of hiking personal income taxes by about 15 percent.

“A previously unreleased analysis prepared by the U.S. Department of Treasury says that the total in new taxes would be between $100 billion to $200 billion a year.  At the upper end of the administration’s estimate, the cost per American household would be an extra $1,761 a year.”

The documents were obtained under a Freedom of Information Act request from the Competitive Enterprise Institute.

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September 16th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Bunker-Busting ACORN Videos
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Forget the Peabody and the Pulitzer and all those other awards that journalists love to pass back and forth among themselves for, like, getting a leaked document, word-processing it up and then going to lunch.

James O’Keefe and Hannah Giles – who made the brilliant undercover ACORN videos – aren’t likely to get any of those.  What they are likely to get is the sense of accomplishment in doing the job that journalists and government officials would not or could not do:  they have begun to unravel an enterprise that has for decades wrapped its slimy tentacles around the underbelly of this country and squeezed the dead presidents from the hands of unwilling private interests and more-than-willing government agencies.

How ACORN must have reveled in the election of a live president, one of their own.  The estimated $53 million (at least) that the organization has received in federal grants since 1994 would be pocket change compared to what ACORN could reap with a special friend in the White House.

The work of O’Keefe and Giles may provide the push to end that.  If the videos (from Baltimore, Washington, D.C., Brooklyn and California) individually are devastating, releasing them one by one (and we have no idea how many more they have) is sheer genius.  Likewise, the sneering, dismissive reaction of the mainstream media – running off more viewers, readers, subscribers and influence than could have been imagined a decade ago – is sheer idiocy.

It can only be hoped that the off-the-scale radioactivity that now emanates from ACORN will be enough to move the Congress and the President to quickly deny all federal funding and to order a full-scale investigation of all past practices.

But even that will not be enough, because ACORN has many aliases in its subsidiaries and affiliates, and much of its income comes from state and local governments, and those tentacles also must be severed.

September 15th, 2009 at 10:20 am
President Obama’s Off-the-Record Little Bitty Baby Sister Souljah Moment
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Prediction:  President Obama’s comment that rapper Kanye West is a “jackass” will get the President a bigger poll boost than his ObamaCare infomercials.

Question:  Would it be fair to say that West “Taylor Swiftboated” himself?

Comment:  If you don’t have the slightest idea what we are talking about, congratulations.  You have a life.